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Your Authentic Voice – Lessons Learned The Hard Way – Part 1

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Lesson 1 – Own Your Station In Life

Owning and accepting that your past actions and decisions got you to where you are today – especially if you’re in an undesirable place – will turn up the volume on your Authentic Voice.

A Simple Reminder

Now you’ve very likely heard this one before. In fact, none of the five lessons are likely to be entirely new to you. But if you’re like me, a reminder every now and again doesn’t hurt. And I will admit to you that this lesson is rather easy to dismiss as one learned long ago.  It certainly was for me. If you find yourself thinking “Been there, got the t-shirt”, now let’s move on”, I’d ask you to stay with me for just a short while.

A Few Questions For You

  1. Do you find your thoughts anchored in certain past negative events, missed opportunities or painful experiences?
  2. Do you find yourself wondering “what if?” often?
  3. Are you generally just feeling unlucky… like you just can’t seem to catch a break?

Now I’d like you to assume for a second you’re a coach. And you need to formulate some advice for your student who answered yes to any combination of the above questions. What advice would you give? Take 30 seconds to ponder that…

OK then, if you answered yes to any of the questions, are you taking that same advice for yourself?

Moving on…

Where the Opportunity Is

Owning where you are means you accept the fact that you and solely you are responsible for everything that has happened in your life to get you where you are today. Owning your lot in life by extension means that you also own your future. And that, of course, is where the opportunity is.

Own it All – The Good, Bad and Ugly

Own your mistakes, own your shortcomings, own your bad decisions, own your failed relationships. Own it all. Then and only then can you take the power back to create the future you desire.

I was blaming my dissatisfaction on my wife, my bosses and on an unfair world. All spouses frustrate us at times, all bosses are assholes sometimes and the world simply isn’t fair. The key to owning your future is to completely stop laying blame and making excuses for an undesirable past.

One Step Further – Radical Acceptance

Renowned psychologist, Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Radical Acceptance is most important with the messiest aspects of your life. Shit happens, you’re constantly going to deal with curve-balls. Liberation comes with not only accepting but embracing adversity and recognizing that periods of rapid personal growth only happen in life following wrenching emotional experiences. It just is…At the end of the day, when adversity arrives (notice I said “when” not “if”), you only have two choices….play the victim, in which case you will stay the victim and forward progress will be next to impossible until your mindset shifts….or embrace the adversity and recognize that it is a gift in disguise. Not a difficult choice really.

Next week…Lesson Two – How To Tune-In To Your Authentic Voice

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Brent C. Wagner